Category Archives: Entertain Like a Man

Host Like a Man

Your home is elegant and masculine, embodying your stylish charm. Eventually you’ll want to invite people over. Have you thought about what to serve them? DO NOT put out chips. Pretzels are no better. It takes so little effort to put together a fine spread that looks good, guests will enjoy, and make you a look like a grown ass man.

Throw away your big plastic bowls. Replace with a big thick rectangular chopping block. On said chopping block, you will assemble a delightful mix of edibles according to your budget, your preferences, and the predilections of your guests.

You want a balanced mix of soft and crunchy and chewy textures, salty and sweet, and sour, spicy, and tangy flavors. Have some juicy items and some dry, some oily, and some fibrous. Have some bright colors even if you would never eat it – someone else very likely will.

Start with dry crackers. Get them with a subtle flavor like rosemary or black pepper or olive oil or just plain sea salt. Buy some whole, pitted olives – get some purple ones and some green ones. Get whole blocks of cheese. You can be fancy if you want to, but just cheddar and swiss is fine. Lots of grapes – purple or black will look best. Clementines are inexpensive, a lot of people like them, and they add color. Make sure you peel them and remove the stringy white pulp. Seasonal berries for color. Have some vegetables but not baby carrots and celery sticks. Cherry tomatoes, small whole radishes, small sweet peppers. Anything miniature. Dates add sweetness.

What you have created is “crudités”. If you add cured meats, you created a “charcuterie board”.

Trinity

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A man’s decorating doctrine should focus on the trinity: the bedroom, the bathroom and the bar.

A clean and organized home will speak volumes of your physical and mental success. Address the basics, incorporate your character into the direction of your furniture style and break the stereotype by concealing your television or at least leaving it off when entertaining. Use one end of your dining table as a library table styled with books and objects that represent your interests.

Before having guests over, invest in new (matching) sheets and a new bedcover. Place low wattage bulbs in your table lamps and place a decent read next to the bed – even if you don’t usually read. A textbook or literary classic if you’re faking it. A real book you are actually interested in reading, even if you haven’t started it.

Stock your bathroom with fresh towels, a PUMP soap dispenser with a pleasant smelling soap (e.g.: lavender), and a (matching scented) lit candle. A small civilized arrangement of fresh cut flowers would likely blow your friends’ minds and increase your chances of someone staying over. It also shows you pay attention to and care about the details. It’s a good idea to “curate” your medicine cabinet because people *will* look.

Put together a “top shelf” bar tray with a proper basic base of white rum, vodka, bourbon, tequila, and brandy. Mixers should include dry vermouth, sweet vermouth, triple sec and bitters. Accent with small bottles of seltzer and soda water, some fresh lemons and limes, cocktail olives and cherries. Barware should include six to eight of each: short glasses, tall glasses, [champagne] coupes, and wine glasses (pick your favorite style and use for both red and white). Tools should include a cocktail shaker, strainer, jigger, corkscrew, a bar spoon and “simple” paper cocktail napkins. Place all out on the largest tray you can find. Put this tray on that library table we talked about. A quick image search of “bar tray” on the internet will give you the right idea of what you’re after.

When you throw your next mixer, you will be prepped and ready.