Your home is elegant and masculine, embodying your stylish charm. Eventually you’ll want to invite people over. Have you thought about what to serve them? DO NOT put out chips. Pretzels are no better. It takes so little effort to put together a fine spread that looks good, guests will enjoy, and make you a look like a grown ass man.

Throw away your big plastic bowls. Replace with a big thick rectangular chopping block. On said chopping block, you will assemble a delightful mix of edibles according to your budget, your preferences, and the predilections of your guests.

You want a balanced mix of soft and crunchy and chewy textures, salty and sweet, and sour, spicy, and tangy flavors. Have some juicy items and some dry, some oily, and some fibrous. Have some bright colors even if you would never eat it – someone else very likely will.

Start with dry crackers. Get them with a subtle flavor like rosemary or black pepper or olive oil or just plain sea salt. Buy some whole, pitted olives – get some purple ones and some green ones. Get whole blocks of cheese. You can be fancy if you want to, but just cheddar and swiss is fine. Lots of grapes – purple or black will look best. Clementines are inexpensive, a lot of people like them, and they add color. Make sure you peel them and remove the stringy white pulp. Seasonal berries for color. Have some vegetables but not baby carrots and celery sticks. Cherry tomatoes, small whole radishes, small sweet peppers. Anything miniature. Dates add sweetness.

What you have created is “crudités”. If you add cured meats, you created a “charcuterie board”.